The Ultimate Wedding Day Toasting Guide
- Jessica Laycock
- May 1
- 3 min read
Let's talk toasts! This can be among the most heartwarming parts of your wedding day—or the most uncomfortable—depending on how well the speakers are prepared and selected. So, no pressure, but make your choices carefully! Here are several recommendations for selecting individuals to give a toast, determining when they should or can deliver it, and coordinating the sequence of toasts, among other things.
Choose People You Trust
This is crucial! It's very important for those delivering a toast to know you well, as this will lead to wonderful memories being shared, creating a more intimate moment and lasting sweet memories. Don't hesitate to provide your own personal guidelines regarding the content of each toast. For instance, if you prefer it to be clean and under three minutes, make sure to communicate this!
TIP: If you have a close friend or family member that you'd LOVE to give a toast, but they are shy or super nervous about doing so, you can always ask that person give a toast during the rehearsal dinner instead. There will be far less people at a rehearsal dinner than at a wedding and this may relieve some nerves. Also, asking a few people to give a toast at the rehearsal dinner will help with the flow of toasts during your wedding reception as well!
Order of Toasts
The evening's host—usually the bride's parents for the wedding day or the groom's parents for the rehearsal dinner—will begin the wedding reception with a toast, welcoming everyone to the celebration. Their toast is generally followed by the commencement of dinner. Once all guests are seated with their meals, the best man and maid of honor will deliver their toasts, with the newlyweds concluding by saying a few words themselves. This sequence keeps guests entertained during their meal and ensures the reception flows smoothly.
Toasts are most effective when they are concise and engaging, ideally lasting between 3-5 minutes to maintain the guests' attention. Remember that a thoughtfully crafted toast will capture the essence and elegance of the wedding day. We've all seen Bridesmaids and we don't a need a "toast-off" fiasco on your wedding day!
NOTE: It's best to have roughly 4-5 toasts at most during a wedding reception. Any more than that and your guests will start to lose interest and the flow of your reception could be compromised. Again, utilize the rehearsal dinner for additional toasts if necessary!
What to Say and What NOT to Say in a Wedding Toast
All toasts should touch on the following, keeping it simple, concise, yet personal and authentic:
Congratulate the newlyweds!
Introduce yourself and share your relationship with the couple.
Tell a meaningful, heartfelt story - connect this with your relationship to the couple.
Use humor if it feels right for you!
Conclude by raising your glass and pass on your well wishes to the newlyweds!
Be sure to keep things light and leave out anything that isn't definitively positive. Also, please do not share any stories that the Bride or Groom might not want to listen to or hear about over and over again - let's leave those for a more private moment. Overall, keep things concise, personal, light and present and future focused, leaving out past relationships, creating an enlightening environment full of warmth toward the newlyweds!
Stand Near the Bride + Groom!
Often, those delivering a toast find themselves standing across the room from the Bride and Groom, typically near the DJ, as it's a convenient place to pick up the microphone and begin speaking. However, I strongly suggest that those giving toasts take the mic and stand either close to the newlyweds or right beside them at the sweetheart table. This not only fosters a more personal connection with the Bride and Groom but also provides excellent photo opportunities.
The Ultimate Wedding Toasting Guide
All toasts, whether at the rehearsal dinner or wedding reception, should be both sincere and humorous, including sweet memories, yet moments of laughter. This will bring all guests together and create a sense of warmth and love for the Bride and Groom. It's important to focus on the couples journey together, expressing admiration, sharing a personal story, keeping your toast simple yet personal.
Be sure to download the attached PDF for a full Toasting Guide for both the rehearsal dinner and wedding reception!
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